that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
