guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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