The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The air taste purple.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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