Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize