apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
zippers are such a cool invention
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize
