he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
