I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
