ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
handjob tips. give me some.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
