idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize