then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize