I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
