I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
