ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize