i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize