she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
