we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
