is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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