I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize