He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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