real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize