Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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