why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
