Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
