batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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