I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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