just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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