I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
