I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
