i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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