i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the day after is always just damage control
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
