I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
