where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize