Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
