May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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