you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
