I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
