so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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