We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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