dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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