They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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