dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
