P.S. I can't hear my feet
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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