If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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