i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
