Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
