I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
