dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize