i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You need a sexual gate keeper
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
