i think my tv is drunk
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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