your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
