Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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