ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
