What did we do last night that was yellow?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
