how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
