Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
