OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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