Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Vodka?
Forever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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