This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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