Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
