they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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