Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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