No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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