we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
