well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize