sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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