real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
